[pause]
No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
This study has been entirely too cheeky for comfort . . . . As I said to our study's leader " These questions seem to ask you not IF you've violated a boundary but WHEN!"
So allow me to focus on a major theme; being that we each have our own responsibilities to shoulder, and we are to help others but are not responsible for others. In the book they call this boulders (situations too big to handle alone) vs knapsacks (everyone's individual responsibilities). The bible calls us to help with one another boulders- and to ask for help when we are faced with a boulder- but each one is to carry his own knapsackand then defining the difference between the two.Big idea here: Boundaries get infringed upon but we can only work on our own boundaries - not on others. And we must aim to not infringe on other's boundaries.
People may get offended or withdraw from you if you have to say "no", but you need to be OK with that - why? How? Because our primary relationship is with God so we are not dependent on other's for their good opinion - we know God's opinion of us. In the same matter - you need to be OK if someone says "no" to you - again, because we are rooted in God's hand. So let us aim not to take it so personally - ladies - please.
The flip side of this is that for some of us we need to be able to say "yes" to help, and to be able to give help without attaching any sort of strings . . . but because we honestly want to help.
Face it, any situation where there is a potential of resentment is because something was given with an expectation. Remove expectation and you have the removal of resentment.
Next week we will be looking at the myths of boundaries where there is a big one I look forward to tackling: "If I set boundaries I'm being selfish" . . . so stay tuned!
