Yesterday, I'm resting when I get a call.
"Hello?" says me, yeah, the only smart thing I said all conversation long . . .
"Hi, . . . (bla, bla, bla) I need to talk to your husband. Is he home?"
"Um, yeah, so . . . when can we expect you over?"
"To your house? Didn't know I was invited."
" . . . (more bla bla bla as I'm scraping together all my brain cells together to figure this out) . . . so, um, how then were you thinking of talking to my husband?"
"*small laugh* um . . . over the phone.?"
True story, y'all. Worst thing was that this was a single guy I was talking to . . . .*ack!*
So it is no surprise then when it took me longer than the average bear to figure out this following e-mail is very tongue-in-cheek . . .
So for any other mothers-to-be that are reading this . . . THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY, NOT TAKEN FOR REAL!
Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
From: "The Good, Clean Funnies List"
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will
instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after
you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives
-- then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If
it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't
move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
Received from dean0.
Have a good day.