Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen rules to drive by if you visit me in Ensenada, Mexico.

1. All driving speed limits are really just suggestions (and sometimes a joke!) unless a cop is in sight.

2. Pretty much all traffic laws are "flexible" unless there is a cop in sight.

3. Just because they are a cop doesn't mean there gonna drive according to any traffic laws. Traffic laws only apply to you.

4. The left hand blinker is to signal that it is safe to pass. Most roads are narrow, and curvey. Most truckers can be trusted even if you can't see, but watch that right hand blinker - if it comes on after he has given you a left hand blinker "all clear" sign then it means "never mind" or "oops, get back quick".

5. So if you do want to make a legitimate left hand turn first get into the oncoming traffic lane and then slow down (putting on the break lights) and then put on your blinker if not, and your in your correct lane and put on your left blinker the guy behind you thinks your giving him the "all clear" to pass and so starts to pass while you make a left hand turn and CRASH!

6. But what if there is oncoming traffic? Then start slowing WAAAAY down first, make SURE the guy behind you can see there is oncoming traffic and when your almost stopped then you can turn on your left blinker. Or better yet - stick your hand out and point to your turn.

7. If at a stop sign and there is a cop - stop and sing one round of "twinkle, twinkle little star" before preceding or they'll ticket you for an incomplete stop.

8. Driving in the middle of the road or even on the opposite side of the road (even on a two way traffic street) is OK, and sometimes the best way to avoid all those pot holes.

9. If others are pausing at a stop sign, don't make eye contact, because that gives away your right of way, just pause and go. Otherwise they will just pause and go.

10. Daring feats of driving boldness is not only acceptable, but respected.

11. If in a traffic jam or line, and someone cuts in front of you, no getting upset - kudos to him for being able to do so. Because of said rule above. And bumper tapping is normal and to be expected, so just ignore it, since NO WAY are we going to let any space get between us and the car ahead of us! That would signal an easy cut!

12. If you witnessed the signal light change from yellow to red, and no one is stopping ahead of you, you can still go through. By the same token, a red light can be ignored completely if no one is coming and, or it is a T intersection and you pass everyone on the right hand shoulder, since there is no oncoming traffic from the right. Although this is mostly reserved to monster trucks and city busses.

13. Finally and most importantly - ALL accidents are illegal, all parties are guilty until proven innocent, so if you do have a fender bender just flee the scene, since the other guy is already done so. Everyone is responsible for their own damages. And this rule kind of actually makes everyone really good and not getting into accidents . . .