Monday, November 17, 2008

Why God Made Moms.

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
  • 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
  • 2. Mostly to clean the house.
  • 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

  • 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
  • 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
  • 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

  • 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
  • 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

  • 1. We're related.
  • 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

  • 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
  • 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
  • 3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

  • 1. His last name.
  • 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
  • 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

  • 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
  • 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
  • 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

  • 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
  • 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
  • 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

  • 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
  • 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
  • 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
  • 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

  • 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
  • 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

  • 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
  • 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

  • 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
  • 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
  • 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.


sandra said...

oh I laughed at the last one. My kids are convinced that I have eyes on the back of my head. Theya re always "testing" my back of the head eyes and I always get it right, another little answered prayer.

MoziEsmé said...

Such wise kids!

Happy Mama said...

Hey I think you are missing an award i gave you back during your move...It has a bunch of tea cups on it...

Meli said...

Great post!
Those kids are so smart!

kailani said...

Those are hilarious! I especially like the last section! LOL!

sarahgrace said...

Those are hilarious! I read them out loud to my hubby, and giggled so much my eyes started watering!

kellygirl said...

Oh man...ROFL!! I love that 'Mom's don't do spare time!'

Rebecca said...

NO to drugs and YES to chores! HOOT!!!

Thanks for a great laugh, Michelle!!!