This is a drawing of my baby brother and a picture of my youngest.

Starting a new bible study.

Boundaries; Chapter 1 & 2

A significant discovery I made this week with this reading is the idea of "spiritual" boundaries. I hadn't thought of those before - and I'm still trying to define those - and I'm finding that the whole idea of boundaries, as a whole, is kinda abstract . . . I ask you - what would you call/consider spiritual boundaries?

I found myself getting angry with the character Sherrie in the book because she constantly kept self doubting herself when her first instincts where right - but she did it with the idea that "a good christian would" . . . and those lead me to the questions I look forward to getting an answer - As christians - especially but definitely not limited to those in ministry - how does set a boundary to a legitimate need in the church body?

What are legitimate boundaries, and how do boundaries relate to submission are some questions I will be watching with some keen interest . . .

The book states that boundaries define us. I think of the phrase "poured out" because, like water, when a person is without boundaries (pouring himself out) - he/she is undefined - but boundaries is like a cup to that water giving it shape and definition, and making it much more useful and safe . . . . "that can increase your love and save your life"p.31

The book spoke of God having boundaries and at first it rubbed me the wrong way since I couldn't see God behind a boundary wall - but in regard to God having boundaries meaning definition then it fits. The whole bible is about defining Who God Is and who He isn't.

I think I will have an easier time relating to the idea of boundaries, not as walls and hedges, but in the sense of definition . . . like skin-

I'm looking forward to chapter 3 -

I welcome your thoughts . . .

A funny for Sunday

Something about Parenting posted this

Gotta love kids!

That's good, right?

Every Friday I get together with our deaf Pastor and a co/worker to talk over ministry and discuss the worship songs we have and how to interpret them for our deaf congregation . . .

We meet at my friend/co-workers house and she lives in a gated community.

At the gate visitors are required to leave a form of I.D. in exchange for a visitor pass. It's a new policy - enforced by an older retiree-looking fellow . . .

Now here is where I let you in on a little known secret -

I have a pretty-good looking driver license picture. God was gracious that day . . . .

Anyway - so I pass this over and the man does a double take . . .

"This is you?!"

"Er-yes? He he . . ." *feeling rather like a cow now*

and after some more scrutiny "Oh, I see . . . you had red glasses there . . . " and he turns and passes me my visitor pass.

That was my first encounter, and I went home vowing to comb my hair-for-heaven-sake-at-least, among some other forgotten new years resolutions.

Following Fridays have been similar . . .

"Michelle, I remember you . . . "

and

"Michelle the lovely . . . are these your kids? They are as lovely as the mother"

with me responding similarly . . . "Oh thank you, hehehe . " and drive off.

I figure that while I'm doing my thing there for an hour or two he is looking at that rather flattering picture and associating it with some idealized persona of me . . .

Because that is NOT me on a daily basis . . . not even on Sunday. I'm wearing makeup for crying out loud! Anyone who knows me knows that makeup is one corner I cut EVERYDAY.

Driver's licence picture:

Me, right now:

And this is all rather very flattering . . .

or really really really REALLY sad . . . . :-)

This is most certainly true . . . .

Truth -

I had the question put to me "How do I know what's true?" - and I had to ask "In regard to what?" to which the reply was "Everything!"

Truth is a relative term once you step out of the trinity: God as LORD, Jesus as Christ and the Holy Spirit - three in one. The great I AM. (John 8:58, Exodus 3:14)

And I do believe there is a time in every one's life where they have to chose to stand on this rock or not.

As the old song say - 'everything else is sinking sand' and I do mean EVERYTHING ELSE.

I jokingly refer to myself as not non-denominational but multi-denominational. And while working at Rancho Sordo Mudo a wise man taught me that it boils down to the big "T" in truth, or a little "t"

It isn't a question about what is true or not- but what is better/right. As long as there is no person exactly like another the question will more specifically be what is better/right for that person.

It's complicated, but after months of mulling this thought over and over in my mind, the bottom line is that there is no "absolutely correct" outside of Jesus and so you get to pick or choose what path or what subject you want to dedicate yourself to finding what is the best for you. Keep in mind that what is best for you may not be the best for someone else - more specifically I mean - "the best for me" may actually, and most likely mean someone else is/can't/won't be getting "the best for them". That's where the whole idea of "no greater love" and "laying down one's life for a friend" comes into play.

I will promise you this: for each issue that there are acronyms and degrees to back up one side as being the best/accurate - there are equal amount of acronyms and degrees backing up it's opposite.

I believe that there is wonderful freedom in this understanding.

As I said, it's complicated. And I much prefer to have a diologe about something like this instead of just posting something here . . .

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

It Feels So Good - ASL MUSIC VIDEO

!!!!

And here I let down my mask a bit . . .

It is the nature of being human that we go through highs and lows like clouds passing in a sky.

There were clouds in my sky this morning for no other reason that just being woman.

I was taking advantage of my mother being here to feed and dress the kids- and stayed in bed.

Then I heard a knock on the door, and in walked my daughter followed by my hubby with a cup of tea and some vanilla wafers!

Brightly - as is her personality - she announces that they are bringing me "coffee" in bed!

"OH! How did you know!?" My heart started to swell! Just what I needed! To know he noticed and he thought of me and he cared!!!

"It was her idea" he says without ceremony when he give me the tea.

I had to wipe that look off my face real quick - because there stood my beaming 5 year old waiting for her accolades . . .which I obliged her. Raving about the tea, the kindness . . the thoughtfulness . . .She bounded away happily.

And really - today I have a lot to be thankful for and happy about. It's beautiful outside - I've got wonderfully thoughtful kids. And my hubby was willing to help my daughter in her mission to bring me tea . . . . that's Great!

*sigh*

But today-today-I just really wanted the tea to have been HIS idea.

A blog-worthy post copied from Facebook:

This van is known by friends and family as "The Lord's Van". So dubbed by my aunties since it seems that it's only the Lord that is holding it together.

So I saw this posted to my cousin Sandie's facebook by Derek Johnson

Our Van,

which art in Minnesota,

Rusted be thy Name.

Thy mileage come.

Thy dent will be done,

In park as it is in drive....

Give us this day our daily oil change.

And forgive us our right lane passes,

As we forgive those who right lane pass against us.

And lead us not into a trade in,

But deliver us from car envy.

For thine is the Wagon,

and the powertrain,

and the glory,for ever and ever.

Amen.

Chuckle with me a moment

in the Tijuana boarder crossing line . . . this advertisement for a plastic surgeon. His name in translation? Dr. Carlos Goodface!

Rant on crime and going to Mexico.

Luke is director of the deaf school I used to work at. I love this video because it pretty much reflects how I feel. They are about 30 minutes from where we are. He is hard of hearing, hence the accent.

Mostly, the only time I hear about the violence in Mexico is when I am in the states.

Enjoy!

Hooter Hiders: aka Nursing Covers

The nursing cover, I love 'em.



This is not me - I never had time to put earrings in my ears or wore WHITE while nursing - but I did have this exact nursing cover.

Correction - I HAVE it still. I just no longer have a babe nursing.

Yet I've got to say - it's been one of those most versetile things I got. It could be a blanket, a cover, a make-shift changing table cover . . . you know -(fanfair please) DA TA DA DAAAAA!!!!!!!

A cape to drape the fearless handsome prince!

Alaska

It's been rumored, so let me set the record straight -

Yes - I went from Mexico to Alaska for a little over a week in March. Leaving my two of the three with their dad and taking the baby with me on my lap.

And, contrary to what we heard, the sun DID rise in the morning.



I went to visit my awesome-ness cousin (who wrote of it here) for a "rest".

It had been a long long time since I've had to take care of what shoes I was wearing 'cause I might slip.

It was baby's first experience of air that bit and snow that towered over his head. He is not a fan of getting wet in the first place . . . so you can imagine how he liked SNOW!

We saw 7 bald eagles, 3 moose, and 3 wild dall sheep, and the top of Mt. McKinley in Denali park (thanks Annie! for it's proper spelling) -the highest mountain in North America. Of which Zero of my pictures were good for.

For those family and friends who then clamored for PICTURES - here you go:

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Flight of the Conchords Ep 4 Sello Tape

Uh -

It was a week with me in Alaska and when I got home ALL the dishes were awaiting me.


To hubby's credit, the house was picked up, and vacuumed. Kids were all accounted for with all their limbs attached - if unwashed.

But ALL the dishes were there growing things! including the cup that I used to drink some coffee before I left more than a week ago!

All this fuzzy stuff pictured is GROWTH! GROWTH! UGH!

It was the nastiest job ever. But it's all done. Washed with water so hot it burned through my rubber gloves.

I think I may be a wee bit more specific about what tasks are to be done while I'm away.

Tercer Cielo - Yo Te Extrañaré (ASL)

Back in November:

Go ahead, press play, let the music sink in while you read on.

The winds were blowing in from the mountains. Here we know it's going to be warm when they do. Those are the santa anas blowing. So with some fresh sqeezed lime-aid myself and the kids pulled out some chairs to the balcony and sat down.

The thought popped into my head.

"I'm happy."





Dulce refugio
en la tormentaes
Jesucristo el Salvador
él me alienta
y alimenta
con su palabra y su amor (x2)


Vengo a reposar en él
él es mi amigo fiel
una poderosa y fresca unción
llenará mi corazón

Sweet shelter
in the storm
is Jesus Christ the Savior
he encourages and nurishes
with his word and his love (x2)

I come to rest in him
he is my loyal friend
a powerful and fresh anointing
fills my heart

It's all Facebook's fault!

Since when did I get such a strong feeling of obligation towards my blog?

Hmm?

Very similar like my blog is my neglected foster child -

And I had a pretty good google page ranking, and I've watched it slowly dwindle down to nothing. But I know - I KNOW - that my blogging is not significant, life changing or even always amusing . . . so why would I feel so BAD about not blogging? My blog is not vital , you know?!

Ever since I got into Facebook . . and OMWord, have I got "into" it. I can so easily spend all my free time there . . so easy . . .

And if Blogging has taught me anything, it's that I'm not a "writer". Why torture the world further? eh?

So that is my excuse - I've been abducted by Facebook and they're holding me for ransom. But I don't want to close my blog though - since a blog is the best place for a story, a memory, and something more than an "update"

If, for whatever reason, you miss me, you can find me there - at Facebook.

Meanwhile, while I'm here in Alaska *I KNOW! ALASKA!* I'll try to write some bloggable stuff and schedule them for posting . . . because this poor foster child is STARVING!

If Dogs could get sainthood . . . .

This dog - 'our' dog - came with the house we are renting.

No joke. His name is Oso, and he's an old mutt with grey whiskers.


Apparently, he was a much better guard dog before his 'mate' died. Now you can really say that his bark is as bad as his bite - they are both Nil!

But if ever a dog deserves sainthood I would christen him "Santo Oso de Perro" since his patience with our three young ones is divine!

long suffering, patient, loyal . . .this is the youngest of my three just using him like a bongo . . .

Santo Oso de Perro, folks . . .

The real reason he had kids . . .

You crack me up!

He's 3 years old, my boy.

Grandma was with him in the livingroom when I hear Grandma start laughing -

What was it?

My boy said "Grandma, you crack me up! You crack me up two times!"

About my husband's kidney transplant . . .

The good news is that God answers prayers!

Amen?

AMEN!

You all prayed and the surgery was a success!

8 days later Lonnie was able to attend my brothers long anticipated wedding with no problems.

He looks better, feels better and let me tell you - the kidney is doing a great job because he's having to take potty breaks more often than our own little ones!

Thank you all for praying.

The above pictures are from my daughter - who, while at the wedding, and getting restless, I attemted to distract by handing her the camera. She's getting the hang of it, but it kinda went like this:

"OK, now, look - your cutting off the head's . . . try again, and get the picture you want in the frame and try again."

"Um - that's better, but your still missing his head -see?"

!!!!!

FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING UNTIL MY HUSBAND GET A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT!!!

If I've been out of it, it's 'cause I trying to get everything ready . . . His family has arrived from Missouri. His brother is the one giving him the kidney.

Two days ago my husband said for the first time "I'm a little nervous."

FRIDAY!

Be praying.

Posted on our mission's blog

I just posted our December newsletter over at our ministry blog.

Tis the season for a santa pinata!

fa la la la la

la la la la

Guitar Prodigy

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tell me why?

Why is it that of everything in the house - all the toys, all the books, all the harmless cups and bottles and such thing that are in a regular home - kids are going to play with the things that can KILL them?!?!?!

Ok, so perhaps I'm overreacting here, but I was just laying down for a rest.
I turn over, and hear a *CLUNK* . . .

"Oh yeah, that must have been my toiletries bag that I had at the foot of my bed."

I'm so tired that as soon as that thought registers it gets filed in the "not important now" file and I close my eyes again . .

Enter now my walking 1year old totteling about my room, checking in on mommy and I'm trying to ignore him, when I hear *rustle, rustle, rustle* and mommy senses start tingling . .

My thought process: "He's probably in the toiletries bag". . . I do a mental inventory of what's in their: tooth brush, tooth paste, floss, bottle of shampoo, deodorant . . . RAZOR!

Now I know, I NEED to get up and see what he's playing with - because you know he's not playing with the comb or brush . . .

The razor,

"Of course, the razor" *eye roll*

Dude.

Well he pulled through unharmed. But that's more than I can say for my 3 year old.

This time my mommy senses gave me no warning when my little spider monkey came crying in the house saying he fell.

That is not uncommon, and I usually don't make a big deal about a fall, except when he showed me his owie it was a PUNCTURE WOUND!

GOODNESS!!!!!

He fell on something, but it was unwitnessed and the best I can gather from him it was some metal protrusion on the porch.

One cancelled game night, trip to the ER and 5 stitches later he is fine . . . as he stands on the top of the little tykes car for toddlers smiling at me . . .

Me? I think I need a drink!

Becasue I said so!

The Mom Song- LIVE from Northland Video on Vimeo.

Why God Made Moms.

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

• 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
• 2. Mostly to clean the house.
• 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

• 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
• 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
• 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

• 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
• 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

• 1. We're related.
• 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

• 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
• 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
• 3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

• 1. His last name.
• 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
• 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

• 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
• 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
• 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

• 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
• 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
• 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

• 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
• 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
• 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
• 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

• 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
• 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

• 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
• 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

• 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
• 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
• 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Award

It was surprising to be reading along at Happy Home about this lady that she awarded and thinking "Wow, she sounds so neat!" followed by the thought "Hey! That's me!"

I didn't recognize myself here since I honestly feel like I'm barely holding it all together - often!

So, Happy Mama, thank you. It really touched me. To see me through your eyes I feel a bit more . . . sane!

And as you said: it is now My pleasure to pass this award on:

I'd like to pass it on to Missionary Mom who just seems to have a lot of sense and purpose in her blog. She's careful and thoughtful. And will be welcoming home a new one soon!

Random FYI meme

A Cup of Joy tagged me. I've done this one before, but since there are oh-so-many random things about me it's an easy one to do again! *smile*

Random FYI:
1) I *heart* cryptograms, but they are kinda hard to find.
2) I love Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe . . . oh my word that fellow can make me laugh!



3) I always thought that the reason I did not get the roll of Annie in the Movie Annie was cause we never made it to the casting call.
4) Unfortunately, my singing style/talent has been described as "lounge singer", not necessarily the good kind. Yes, I am the bad loud singer at church. Don't stare, it's rude, I'm not stopping.
5) My mother still tells people that I'm fluent in French, even though I have explained on numerous occasions that I took French for a couple of semesters, that is a far cry from being fluent.
6) Yo NO quiero Taco Bell. Nunca, jamas, por nada . . . .guacala!

Those I tagged: Brittney and Singalullaby and YOU!

Can I just get a WITNESS!

Old Mother Michelle in Mx
went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor kids a bone

When she got there
her cupboard was bare
and so her poor kids had tomato soup

Which they didn't like one bit, but ate cause that's all we had.

So on the way to bible study at some fellow missionaries house I was thinking different things I could throw together to call "meals" but I sure wish I had some chicken.

Isn't our God good?

Doesn't he just know the wishes in our heart and every now and again surprise us with that, and so much more?

So, after bible study tonight, the missionary hostess and I were talking. I asked her about some instant oatmeal that she had offered me last week and I forgot - and then she asked me "Would you like some meat?"

Uh, YES!

What kind?

Er, some chicken would be nice . . .

Then she proceeded to give me TWO grocery bags of meat.

Y'all, I have chicken.

And I have a frozen leg of lamb in my freezer!

God is good! And sometimes spoils rotten his kids.!

En Espíritu y en Verdad

Have you heard worship songs in Spanish like this?:
It's a fine song, and I know it in English, but I haven't sung this in Mexico ever.

Well, from Lei's question in my comments, I realized two things - some of you really don't know how we worship here - passionately -

and often a song is originally an English song, but I only know it in Spanish. This is a song we often sign/sing on a Sunday. If this song is in English someone is going to have to tell me, because I only know it in Spanish.

Cuan hermoso How lovely
eres jesus are you Jesus
es tu poder is your power
fue tu cruz was your cross

La que me salvó, that which saved me me rescató; rescued me un momento ahí one moment there nos dio libertad gave us freedom (or "set us free").

cuan glorioso eres jesus how glorious you are Jesus
son tus palabras are your words
es tu amor is your love

con una corona de espinas with a crown of thorns
te hicistes you became
rey por siempre king for ever
con una corona de espinas with a crown of thorns
te hicistes you became
rey por siempre king forever

te doy gloria we give you gloria glory
te doy gloria we give you glory

None but Jesus - in Spanish

This is a direct request by Lei, a new blogger, who asked me if I knew this song . . .well, once I found it and heard it I see that YES we sign/sing this song often at our church in Ensenada! Here are the lyrics in Spanish. The song is by Hillsongs and they have it in English too, if your curious.

Family Update!

Hubby has missed two days of dialysis because he's trying to fix the clutch in our "good" car (the 4 runner) and it's been slow. He says that he is almost done, but it's getting harder to breath since *oh by the way* his body can't get rid of excess water and it's building up around his lungs . . .

I'm back to needing a break. Since the last time I felt this way was about a month ago it seem that I needs a day off once a month or I start to lose it. Two days sound better.

Miss Intensity seems happier (mayhaps that cause Mom's been happier) and doing well at her new school. Her 5 year old birthday is coming up Nov 3rd. She's so excited. Even if Mom doesn't have time/money/energy to do anything.

Mr Middle Child is Prince Charming, and into Indiana Jones these days. We are a bit concerned, though, about him tying a jump rope around his body and swinging from the top bunk rail . . .DUDE!

Baby Child is one smart kid. Giving him commands like "go put that back" and he's doing it! He's giving open mouth face presses for kisses, and we've moved him into bed with Mr Middle Child - so we can get rid of the crib. WOO HOO!

We are about 40% unpacked, and the kids are still helping mom with the dishes *after every meal* except on days like today, where everyone was in bed by 6:30 and mom's to tired to do anything except blog.

Banana Pancakes

This is dedicated to Tracie D. who has an affinity for Banana Pancakes at La Fonda. *HI*
And Mimi, if she doesn't see this, can you see that she does?
*heart, heart*

What grade?

Here in Mexico the Kindergarten has 3 grades.
I guess it would be the equivalent of K1, K2, K3.
So Little Man just got enrolled into Kindergarten, first grade at 3 years old.
He loves it!
While my little Miss is in Kindergarten, third grade for the 5 years olds.

The change in school did require a change in uniform. I'll have to post those pictures soon.

Until then . . .

I'm BaaaCK!

*GASP*
coming up for air again!
And can I hear a WOO HOO for Internet in the house again!!!!!!!

Oh - all my bloggity friends and Internet connections . . . *muah, muah, muah*
That separation nearly Killed me!

We are in the new house now, a bit closer to the boarder, making the drive a little easier for my hubby, and it is NICE! It's quite, the night sky is full of stars . .. .

But I am not at my leisure yet! We have all the UN-packing to do now.

*sigh*

Anyone want to come to Mexico for short term mission trip to help me unpack???
Anyone?

I'll be making my rounds . . . thanks for all your prayers.
Good news! My husband's brother is a kidney match and we are hoping something happens by January!

Prayers work!

Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain - EXTENDED

yup

Oh Thank YOU!

I've been awarded!

That is for A Cup of Joy for giving me this award and for the truly brilliant women that I delight in passing this on to!

State Side
Planet Nomad
Tales from the (Momma) Hood
Virginia's Family Adventures
MomGrind
From the Desk of Heather

OK, time to look on the bright side.

I'm gonna open my heart up to you all here . . .

I am cutting and pasting an e-mail that I sent a friend, I pretty much lay it on the line . . . just so you know . . .

People ask; "How's it going?"

The short answer: OK.

The long answer (grab a cup of coffee, I'm not kidding):

It's been really rough. We got back to San Diego at the beginning of August and he went to his doctor there. From the lab work they saw that his toxins were really high so they had him admitted to the hospital to receive 3 days of hemo dialysis in a row.

My husband's numbers improved dramatically. So the doctor had him switched back to hemo dialysis 3 times a week. Peritoneal dialysis (the kind he does at night with the machine) just wasn't working for him because of the extra stuff you have to be careful of/for and he just wasn't. That leaves us here; on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday he needs to be in Southern San Diego to receive hemo, and those days he is getting it from 1pm to 5pm, and pretty wipes him out for the rest of the day. But his color looks good, and he feels better - even if it isn't the "in perfect health" guy that we knew, it is not the "about to keel over" guy. We are still trying to find what works for us with this schedule. We are still waiting for Gods leading.

I've been frustrated in that it seems God is entirely silent on the matter. I was getting . . well, mad, because I've really had God's absolute direction so strongly on my life that it's absents was alarmingly noted. Then I heard Him. He told me, in the way the Spirit does, that He isn't going to tell me what we need to do. He's going to tell hubby. !!!!! If you know me at all, you know the loop this sent me on!

So I . . . er. . .patiently . . . wait, but I don't know anything right now. He's has been going up twice a week, staying for example, Tuesday to Thursday, and then going up and coming down again on Saturday (like he did this week) but that is so not easy for me.

I tried pulling a 'Sarah' (of the bible, you know, to "help" God out a bit) by looking for low income housing in the states so we could all be there together and just come down as a family to work with the deaf, reserving any interviews or doctor appointments that needed translating or sign practice and bible studies to the days that we would be there, not to mention being there Sundays for Deaf church. Great plan, right?

My plan, my humiliating failure. Red fags should have been raised when my husband said he didn't like the idea. So we, the family, are in Mexico while he goes back and forth. My daughter has started school in Mexico, and the deaf are here every day - without my husband's help I'm feeling very overwhelmed, all the time. I think being tired is affecting my ability to fight off the paralyzing cloud of "poor me".

Thankfully I have others around me that have helped me out, a couple just on Thursday took all my laundry that was piling up and brought them back Friday with dinner. Another couple that have 5 kids of their own are willing to take my kids if I need a break. And I have a few other numbers to call should I need it, and that is a Godsend. Still, I often feel like I'm drowning.

The upside is that he is growing spiritually through all this. The house were he stays, our friends in San Diego, belong to missions pastor, and is a man he respects. I know they talk when he is there. I know my husband has been reading his bible more - since he's had more time alone to do so. During his dialysis my husband tells me of the things he dwells on about what he's read. Here's the bottom line. My husband is doing better - spiritually you could say he is doing well. I am barely holding it together, but now that I've stopped fighting against my present situation but try to work with it, I'm doing better.

Now we just found a house about 1/2 between here and the boarder that we will be moving to and will allow us to continue with the deaf, but be a shorter drive for my husband. So this week we are moving, and no, I don't know how we're going to do that with him being so weak.

Some problems have arose since all this has been going on, my daughter is getting progressively more aggressive everywhere. My weekly menus are getting more and more slipshod . . . and my hubby and I both have our good days and our bad days. The really bad days are those when we have bad days together.

There are a couple more things going on - but I'm not ready to share those yet . . suffice it to say, forgive me if I've ignored you of late. I'm really just hanging on here.

He tuned 3!

His birthday was actually in August . . . but, oh well.

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Dedicated to you

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Thank You Mr & Mrs Harmon for making this possible!

Sorry for the full moon so long!

Hey, it's been that kind of . . . month.

But the update today is that my baby (who just turned 1 this Wednesday) is now officially walking!

He toddles around the house now with this look on his face like inside his head he's thinking "whoa - whoa"

And he's got the turns down pat.

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Way to go buddy!

There was one more thing to do before bed time . . hmmm

A meme

And I know I have several others to attend to but here is the first one I'm getting to.

It's an easy one:

THE 5 THINGS I ENJOY MEME!

(easy smeasy!)

1. Intelligent conversation about the characters of God over coffee
2. A good book
3. Performances (of all kinds)
4. people watching
5. card and board games

I'm tagging Brittney on this one. And anyone else who wants to play.

My Walk Mondays

People have asked . . Well what is it you feel God is telling you?

This is a question that stems from my hubbies bad health and I've been feeling very overwhelmed. But I've had to say - nothing. God has been alarmingly silent.

That is until two days ago, when the Spirit spoke to me as only He can, and He said:

I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to tell your husband.

Dude.

("dude" was me, not God)

So, there it is. And things have been easier for me since I've stopped fighting against my situation and have/am focusing to live with it.

The good news is that a house has come available that is closer to the doctors for my hubby and just far enough away from our ministry here that "drop-in's" wouldn't be so prevalent, and that just might give me the breather I need. As to whether it is a "go" or no - that is between my God and my husband.

-ahhhh-